Oh boy, oh boy...
Some people have it so easy, and I'm definetly not one of them. Here I am with my weak immune system sick again with the flu. I have a 7 day week scheduel, and I can't remember when's the last time I had the chance to just relax and watch TV.
I go to school five days a week. I do cross country six days a week. I'm taking a college course twice a week, tutoring once a week, working at the bank three days a week, and volunterring every sunday. And in between I have to struggle to get my homework done, and maintain a social life. My stress level is only going up. The shortest week day I have is a twelve and a half hour day where I go to school seven till two, have cross country until 4:45, go to work sweaty and unshowered 5 until seven fifteen and only get home at seven thirty. And that's when I'm forced to have a half an hour dinner with my parents (or they ground me) and then I must do my homework.
This sucks. If I were to explain how badly it sucks and why this entry would probably be at least 5 pages long. Here I am sick with the flu. I can not sleep (nightmares, and high temperature), yet I have to go to school, because if I don't go to school I wont be allowed to go to cross country (attendance policy), and if I miss one more day of practice I wont letter. Then I must go to work, because if I don't go to work I'll get fired. I must tutor because it's only once a week, and it's enough of an acception than they let me come an hour late every time. I must go to evening school or else I wont get credit, and my highschool GPA will be a little lower. I must eat dinner with my family because if I don't they'll give me hell and ground me. I must do volunteer work or else I wont have any to write on my college application. I must do my homework or else I wont get an A average. Can we say SHIT...
Here's the case: I knew that if I would go to school today I would get the flu, so I left early and came back for cross country. What do you know, I have temperature tonight. Whenever I have temperature I have trouble sleeping, so I will only be getting about three hours of sleep meaning my flu will get worse. I have to go to school tmrw so I will be allowed to go to cross country, then I must go to work tmrw because I didn't tonight. Meaning my flu will get worse. Then Saturday I have to run a 2 and a half mile race, or else I'll get one point taken away and I wont letter in cross country. Meaning my flu gets even worse. Therefore I can't go out saturday night which sucks because i'm not going out friday night either, yet I still have to volunteer on sunday at 9 am. then I have to do my homework and try to get some sleep. And WOAH, did you notice that my whole weekend just flew by with out my hanging out with any friends, and not getting enough sleep to get healthy. So I start next week sick and the situation only gets worse.
Life is wonderful.
But I belive I'm a positive person so I must remind my self that I'm doing a great job balancing this hecktick scheduel. And even though I feel a lot of stress my grades are looking awesome in school. I just wish my parents would recognize that because having their support would help a tone.
And it sucks that everyone my age is still so immature, and here I am a senior in highschool and I feel like I have no true friends. I mean there are many people I call my "friends" and yeah I turned pretty popular this year for some odd reason, but no one is a true friend. And no one is at the maturaty level that I am at, since no one I know of has experienced half the things I have. But life will get better because this situation is only temporary so I can not let it get the best of me.
Wish me luck at getting some sleep now! goodnight.

Homecoming?
Yeah, I'm kind of desperate right now for a guy. It could be because I just got over a five week period, or it could be because right now all of my friends are coupling up. Or it could be because September 11th went by and thats the day i had my abortion. But you know how life goes: when you want a guy, you don't get one. When you're fine by yourself guys are just flying by left and right (like this summer). And maybe there are guys around me, but I just don't notice them because I'm so caught up in my stupidity... I don't know.
It's funny, here I am a nice hot jewish chick. A bunch of popular guys think I'm hot and want to get with me, some want to get to know me... But the sad sad part is that none of them get the guts to even say hi to me. And even if they do only want play, how are they going to get it by never speaking to me? Oh and I have to give Evan Byers some credit - he said hi to me in the hall today (ooooh biggie, too bad he could talk to me anyday at lunch if he wanted).
And every one's getting asked to homecoming... am I? Nope. Yeah, that's life. What can I do.
And Masha has such a good side to her but in public she's this popularity digging monster! She thinks she's going to be homecoming because she's asking EVERY ONE to vote for her. And latley I've noticed more and more comments coming out of her like "and I don't know who she thinks she is, but i'm so much better i mean i'm hotter!" wow wow... one day those comments are going to catch up and i wish she knew what she's getting herself into.

Sad Sad World
I'm growing up so fast. Here I am still missing my ex boyfriend that I started dating when I was fourteen. And it scares me to think that I'm almost seventeen and a half waiting for my eighteenth birthday just so I can see him, and that's not even guaranteed. That is a scary thought though... 18! wow, that's pretty old, I mean it seems like just yesterday I was sitting in Talmud Torah refusing to put on my tfillin in 7th grade, and here I am now waiting for my eighteenth birthday which is not so far away.
I miss him. Tomorows September 11th, and that will be my two year reuniun of having an abortion. Thats sad. I miss him. I want him back... the old him. Can you imagine dating a guy who you were completly inlove with, and all of a sudden he turned into this complete monster. I mean, it was still him physicaly, still had the same laugh, same kind of comments, same hugs... but his lifestyle, his dreams changed in what seemed to be a day and it's as if I woke up one day and realized that he's not the guy I loved anymore. How scary is that?? And it's worse that I'm every frickin day waiting to turn eighteen so I can see him and see if it's the old him... If he misses me... wants me back... I don't know. I'm lost.
And by the way when did this world become so rude and odd? I mean at the bank customers are always ass holes. And the kid that I tutor at the temple is a complete freak. What in hell is hapening to this world.
And in school, I see how each year people are different. I mean I see sophmores in my math class laughing over things my grade never considered funny. And my point is humor too has change.
Oh and Evan Byers.... yeah masha finaly pointed him out. Yeah, the "king of Eagan Highschool" as mash says and my other friends agree. Turns out he's the guy who sits at the lunch table next to mine and turns around everyday to stare at me for a short second. Yet never had the guts to walk up to my table and talk to me or at least to someone he knows sitting next to me. But he stares everyday. I'll say hi to him in the hall if he's ever near by.
But here I am... not over the ex from when I was fucking fourteen, and I am now 3 and a half years older. I broke up with him for gods sake... I did! 5 months ago! Why can't I get over him?
And it's sad how no one knows. Not many people know I had a boyfriend. and NO ONE knows I'm not over him. Thats sad. I am sad. But I'll move on, right?

"I have something to tell you!"
It's Friday, 6th hour. I'm walking to class. I pass by Sam (Masha's boyfriend) and he shouts out to me "I have something to tell you!", so I was like "alright tell." and then he said "... no... I'll keep you in suspence". Good thing Masha can't keep her mouth shut and she was in my next hour.
As I predicted Masha walks into class and blurted it out; "Sharon!!! EVAN BYERS WANTS YOU!!!" and I was like "who's Evan Byers??" and she's screaming all excited, so my friend Chloe joins in on the conversation and was like "who wants sharon???" "OMG!!!!!! EVAN BYERS???? OMG!! take him!!! do it!!" and then Jennica walks in the room and asks "Evan Byers??? who does he like?????????????!" and then masha shouts "SHARON". and then they all three had a conversation about how hot he his, and I'm the luckiest girl alive, and I should go for it.... bla bla.... Now this is all I have to say: Who in hell is Evan Byers!!!

So I call up my friend Rylie and we chat. And I asked her about Evan Byers. She told my pretty much what Masha, Jennica and Chloe told me: That he's one of the hottest most popular guy in our grade. and every girl wants to get on him because he's like "a privelage". <-cool. and why does he want me? Never seen him before, never been in one of his classes... hmm....
At first I was like 'does he want me b/c he thinks i'm a slut and i'll give him some?' (like what happend to me in Sibley) -- but that's not it because I've been going to Eagan for 2 yrs now and people only know of my making out with one guy once. plus i don't dress like a slut... so i guess good for me... we'll see what happends from there... maybe a date to homecoming from mr. popular? hmm.. sounds good to me if he's really a cool guy.

Back To School
So school started... and I love it. I'm more outgoing than ever... I know more people then ever, I love it. I remember two years ago, even last year I thought all of my friends were seen as cooler than me, as someone's....
shoot now I'M SOMETHING and SOMEONE... feels good.
Sounds bad, but the popular girls invited me to sit with them at lunch yesterday... felt good. I'm not popularity digging or anything, as any one knows i care less... but shit when it comes to popular guys -- i'm there!
Does my blog make sense? Prob. not but that's just the way I am. and I think....
Tral la la... I have my first cross country meet today and to tell you the truth IM SCARED!!! but no one's going to know that... just you and i.